This is a recap of Game of Thrones season 6 episode 9 “Battle of the Bastards.”
********Show and Book SPOILERS below**********
This episode began in Mereen with a fearful Tyrion insisting
that the slavers were only attacking because Mereen was starting to succeed.
Sure, okay. No matter the reason they were still attacking and team Dragon
Queen needed a plan. When Dany described her plan to KILL EVERYBODY, Tyrion
told her she was acting like the Mad King. So they took a slightly different
approach, meeting with a few leaders from the other side and offering them a
chance to surrender. They didn’t take it, and immediately regretted it when
Dany climbed atop her dragon and began setting fire to their ships. Her other
dragons joined her while the Horde slaughtered the sons of the Harpy and Gray
Worm sliced some throats, setting the slave army free and leaving one master to
tell of the events that transpired.
Most of the rest of the episode took place at Winterfell.
Jon and his pack of trusted leaders—Sansa, Tormund, Davos, and Lyanna Mormont
among others—met to treat with Ramsay. Jon offered to forgo the battle and
settle it the old way: a one-on-one fight to the death. Ramsay opted instead to
threaten them disgustingly with his dogs who haven’t eaten for a week and
retreat behind the walls of Winterfell.
The leaders went back to camp for one last planning session.
It was pretty bleak, and no one understood that better than Sansa, who railed
at Jon for not listening to her. She pleaded with Jon not to play into Ramsay’s
traps before warning him that she would not be taken alive.
Tormund and Davos had a nice bro moment bonding over their
pasts and their loyalty to Jon before Davos wandered away to find Shereen’s
sacrificial pyre.
As the sun rose in Westeros, Theon and Yara met with Dany
and Tyrion in Mereen. They brought her 100 ships—asking in return for her
support of Yara’s claim to the Salt Throne and independence for the Iron
Islands. They explained Euron’s plans to wed Daenerys, as well as his history
as a kingslaying usurper. After some bonding over unfortunate family histories,
the two forces reached an agreement—on the condition that there be no more
reaving and raping.
Back on the battlefield, the armies waited in suspense for
the fighting to begin. Ramsay brought out Rickon and forced him to play a game
while the thousands gathered watched. As Rickon ran and Jon rode furiously to meet
him, Ramsay shot arrows after his prisoner. This, of course, ended with Rickon
getting an arrow to the heart mere feet from Jon’s outstretched arm. A devastated
Jon charged as Ramsay walked away gloating.
And then the battle began. Jon’s horse was down before he
even reached the cavalry line, but he somehow survived the melee on foot. As
Jon’s army shrank rapidly, the Bolton force surrounded them, poking spears out
from behind long shields. Tormund won a hard-fought bout with Smalljohn Umber
by the skin of his teeth, and Jon barely survived getting trampled in the
rapidly diminishing field as the shielded army advanced. When all hope was
lost, horns sounded in the distance, announcing the arrival of the army of
House Arryn. The Knights of the Vale smashed Ramsay’s army, but they couldn’t
keep Ramsay from retreating behind the castle walls. Jon, Tormund, and Wun Wun pursued
him, and while Ramsay was saying he was confident they could survive a siege,
Wun Wun broke down the door. As Jon’s men flooded in through the gate, Wun Wun
took an arrow to the eye. But it was too late to make a difference.
Ramsay decided it was time to face Jon one-on-one after all.
Ramsay loosed arrow after arrow to impede Jon’s advance, to no avail. Jon took
him down with nothing but a shield and his hands, beating Ramsay savagely until
he looked up to see Sansa watching and remembered his place.
They hung the Stark banner upon the walls of Winterfell
again at last as Rickon’s body was brought to the crypt. Sansa made her way to
the cell where Ramsay was being kept and, after an exchange of last words,
Sansa watched Ramsay’s dogs eat him alive.
Conclusion:
Jjmhnhjmnhmnhjmnhjmnhjm.
Okay. Honestly, this is probably the most predictable
episode Game of Thrones has ever come
out with. But I don’t even care. The battle sequence was engaging and
terrifying and beautiful. Everything about it was utterly revolting and heartbreaking.
And I loved it.
It did seem quite contrived in some ways—for example, Jon
making it out of that battle alive… I literally had the thought “he must have
had some felix felicis before stepping out today,” because that was way too
much. The deus ex Littlefinger also struck me as too good to be true, as well
as utterly predictable for the fantasy genre. I wonder how much of this predictable
black and white, good vs. evil, beloved underdog v. arrogant bastard stuff was
intentional. Like, are we going to pay for this happy ending next episode? I’m
okay with some contrivance when it comes to plot and writing if it’s for
symbolism purposes, but the symbolism has to be made really clear: otherwise it
just seems lazy. Right now I’m withholding judgment.
I could definitely seem some shuffling around in the way
they killed main characters. Obviously they couldn’t let Jon, Davos, Tormund,
AND Wun Wun live; someone had to die, and Wun Wun was easily the obvious choice.
It’s sad because he’s the last of the giants, but it’s not so sad that it takes
us out of the episode to mourn and wail at the writers. Rickon’s death was
basically perfect—in that in light of the plot box he was shoved into there was
no chance he was going to live, and there was no way for Ramsay to have done it
that would have made more sense. So in that way, the writing was really good.
As far as the overall arc of writing though, his death is actually pretty flat:
they just brought him back, only to kill him immediately without him even
getting to say anything. Which is why it’s kind of amazing that they managed to
pull his death off so heart-breaking and jaw-droppingly.
Ramsay’s death was good. I approve.
I think they wanted us to feel exhilarated after the
adrenaline of battle, and killing too many main characters probably would have
ruined that. Not that I’m complaining, because I certainly wanted everybody to
live (not counting Ramsay, of course). My thought, though, is that the exhilaration
is nothing but a set up for a real big drop in the finale.
In conclusion, Sansa is Queen.
Also: all that flirting between Yara and Dany. I am here for
this. Krakdragon. Danara. Iron Dragon. Firekracker. Okay, I’m done.
I give this episode 5 out of 5 kings. I know it’s not
perfect, but I just don’t even care right now.
No comments:
Post a Comment